It’s the situation every single straight guy dreads — you’re talking to a girl and she drops the boyfriend bomb. Sound painfully awkward? It doesn’t have to be! Here are some useful lines to keep in your back pocket should this situation arise.
1. “Oh that’s cool I’m gay.”
Nothing turns the tables on getting rejected like simultaneously accusing someone of homophobia and narcissism.
2. “Well yeah but just because there’s a goalie doesn’t mean you can’t score.”
If this line gets you into trouble, mention that you’re a youth soccer coach prone to irrelevant tangents and haven’t yet grasped the concept of metaphors.
3. “I’m sorry that it’s 2016 and you still need to rely on a male presence to turn away other men.”
With any luck she’ll break down and admit that the real reason she’s rejecting you is your hideous physical appearance.
4. “Oh God, rejection is excruciating.”
Nothing assuages the potentially awkward tension of getting rejected like outwardly expressing in loud, painstaking detail the emotional torment of getting rejected.
5. “Is that boyfriend me?”
There’s always a chance that she’s saying this as a very confusing way of asking you out.
6. “Not anymore, I killed him. Please don’t be mad.”
With any luck, she’ll believe you and — being newly single — consent to dating you, provided she follows your suggestion and doesn’t get mad.
7. “Oh damn, okay. Can I interest you in a magazine subscription?”
You’ve struck out romantically, but you may still be able to monetize the rapport you’ve developed.
Not a guy? Then check out 7 Ways to Respond to “Sorry I Have a Girlfriend”
